Being a Mature Adult With Very Important Things To Do™ doesn't have to mean you can't still enjoy Halloween.
If anything, Halloween is a great chance for you to take a break from your daily routine and try out a whole new persona––a costume, if you will. In your normal life, you're a mild-mannered mannered everyperson. Wake up at 6. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV. Bed at 9:30. Rinse and repeat. But on Halloween you can be wild and free, and most importantly, sexy. Because, you know, you're still an adult.
Anyways, these are the sexiest costumes of 2019, and you should buy one if you want to stave off that cloying thought in the back of your mind that you're wasting your life away on nothing while creeping closer and closer to death. Happy Halloween!
Minions may be the most annoying franchise on the planet, but that doesn't mean it can't also be sexy. Delight boomers and geriatric patients by turning their favorite medium for racism into something they can also fantasize about.